My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
