She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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