Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
