i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
