Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
