Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
