I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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