HIV tests are more positive than that guy
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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