Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
