I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
