i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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