you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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