It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
