1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
ok first of all what the fuck
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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