You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
