Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
