went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
