3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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