you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
