Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
