Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have post one night stand depression
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