okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
