My first STD was from a foam party
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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