OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
