I just made out with a guy for $7.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize