no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
