But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize