its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
