Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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