i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
