I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
