Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
