he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
