She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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