i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
