i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
