After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
