You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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