my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
