so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
