But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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