i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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