Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
