i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
