If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
