Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
