Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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