i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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