then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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