I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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