is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
3pm strippers are depressing
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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