he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Shame - the story of my life.
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