New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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