The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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