I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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