HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
worst night to have a conscience
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
