Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize
