There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
